'I better do this tomorrow too, before they find out thatRob isn't coming back.' He moved out of the bank and headed down to the local clothing boutiquesand shops that were situated along two blocks about five blocks over. Hetried to put the recent events in his life out of his mind, but they keptplaying in his mind, 'I'm going to work for the man who may or may nothave raped me. I'm going to be an assistant to some of my pastsubordinates. I'm going to be a woman for the rest of my life.' He continued to walk down the streets as the buses blew black fumes intothe air and he smelt the burning diesel in his nose. It seemed morepungent then usual to him. He looked about as he stopped at a corner andwaited with the crowd for the light to turn. He looked around and herealized he was the smallest adult in the group. Men seemed to be animposing presence now. The light turned and he tried his best to hurryaway from the group, but the clicking of his heels and the pull of hisdress on his. We sat together on the couch, as he said, “Thanks for coming, John. I know that you unexpectedly saw a lot of new things Thursday night, but let’s start with you telling me what got you so upset.”I said, “Holy fuck, Tony, I had never even seen or thought about porn like that until then. And then when you guys started acting out what I saw in those videos, I just felt like I shouldn’t be there witnessing it. But even worse, you then implied that I needed to find out which way I would participate in that shit. I damn sure have never had an attraction to men that way. Fuck, man, how could you even think that way about me? I’m damn sure not gay.”Tony replied, “Look, John, I appreciate what you’re saying, but none of us are gay either. It’s called being bisexual, because we enjoy sex with men, just for the sake of having sex and getting off. There’s no emotional attraction of any kind. We’d all much rather be fucking and sucking our wives. That, uh, uh, physical contact allows us to get.
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